The Holy Family
The celebration of Christmas in 2021 was immediately followed by the Feast of the Holy Family. It doesn’t always follow so closely to Christmas. Usually, the Feasts of St. Stephen, St. John and the Holy Innocents follow in consecutive order. I was struck by the Solemnity of the Holy Family coming immediately after the celebration of the Nativity of the Lord. We had just celebrated the Nativity, that the eternal Word of God, becoming fully human in the womb of the Virgin Mary while retaining His full divinity, was born into our world. He became like us in all things except sin. Then, from His conception and birth, Jesus was immersed in the life of a family with Joseph and Mary. It was a domestic church. It may be anachronistic to refer to a Jewish family at that time in history as a domestic church, but they nonetheless modeled family life.
The New Testament scriptures divulge little about the actual day to day activities of the Holy Family. It is possible to make some projections about what their lives were like as well as mention some specific events recorded in the New Testament. The village in which they lived would have had a population of around 400 to 500 inhabitants. It was an out of the way town in the region of Galilee. We might think of a small rural community in Eastern Montana as an example from our own time. We know that Joseph was a carpenter by trade and would have likely taught Jesus the same trade. It would have been normal for a father to provide such expertise to his son so that later he would have a trade in order to make a living. It is likely that Jesus was schooled in the sacred tradition of Judaism and learned about the Law of Moses and the Prophets. It is likely that Jesus learned both to read (possibly in several languages) and to write. Mary would have lived the life of a normal woman in the village, preparing food, cleaning the small two room house, washing clothes, gathering water from the village well with other women, weaving wool or linen. Joseph would have been the bread winner for the family by utilizing his carpentry skills. Prayer certainly was a part of their daily routine. It was from all appearances a normal life for this family, but it was hardly humdrum.
Too often members of the Holy Family are unrealistically presented as iconic figures on a holy card as if they never had to face struggle! From the beginning of the account of Jesus’ conception in Mary’s womb, the question of infidelity may have surfaced in the mind of Joseph. He certainly would have been confused. They were yet to be fully wed (they were only betrothed). Mary’s pregnancy led Joseph to consider divorce, albeit quietly, but nonetheless a divorce. Ultimately Joseph accepts that God mysteriously is involved but only after he receives an intervention through a dream. It must have been disturbing to Joseph. Though he likely remained confident in Mary’s fidelity he also likely remained perplexed how this could happen. Mary then rushes off to assist her cousin, Elizabeth who is pregnant herself in her old age. Mary has to make a difficult journey over rough terrain – roughly one hundred fifty miles. She stays several months with Elizabeth. Upon her return to Galilee, she is informed that she has to go south again with Joseph for the census – to Bethlehem. She is nearing the birth of her child and the journey again is about one hundred fifty miles. When Joseph and Mary arrive in Bethlehem, they have difficulty finding shelter and end up staying in a cave used for animals. Jesus is born in a smelly and meager place lacking in hygiene. They were essentially homeless. They must have found a more fitting place to reside eventually since it appears they had to stay in Bethlehem for a while, but in short order they had to flee. Joseph had received via another dream a message from an angel who told Joseph of Herod’s intentions to kill their child. Fleeing from Herod, they became refugees in order to avoid violence and persecution. Sometime later, once Joseph had received word that the danger had passed – again through a dream – they made their way to Nazareth. In that out of the way place, they continued to face the oppression of Roman rule and exorbitant taxation. The New Testament is quiet about Joseph’s disappearance, but more than likely he died at some time during Jesus’ growing up years thus leaving Jesus without an earthly father and Mary as a widow. We eventually find Mary at the foot of the cross as Jesus is crucified. She remains there watching her son die unjustly as a common criminal. The Holy Family hardly was without struggles, but God was totally present to them, not only in all their joys, but in all their struggles. This was a family in relationship with God and each other. How could it not be?! Their relationship closely reflected the life of the Holy Trinity.
The Diocesan Synod on the Domestic Church in Eastern Montana
Fast forward a couple thousand years. Circumstances of history are much different than they were in the era when Jesus, Mary and Joseph walked the earth. The reality of family life, however, retains its importance as much as it ever has, especially for Christians. Being within a family is a concrete context in which to express Christian faith and to grow in relationship with Christ and others in Christ. Unlike being just a family in society, being a domestic church requires an openness to Christ being an integral presence in the life of the family.
For the purpose of this pastoral letter it is important to provide a focus of family that is narrower than a generic definition of family. I offer a definition of family as reflected in the propositions provided by delegates of the diocesan synod as well as reflected in the teaching of the Second Vatican Council. People often have a variety of definitions of family based on their own experiences. It needs to be something greater than that which is based on an ideology that may distance itself from Scriptural values and Church teaching. A core understanding of family, as understood by the Church, is a group of persons united by the bonds of marriage, blood and/or adoption. It constitutes a single household (the home) in which members can interact according to each one’s social position: spouses, parents, children, siblings and sometimes grandparents. It does not include boarders who may simply rent space in the home. Not all spouses have children, but a family, according to this definition, includes an expectation that there will be parent-child dynamics as well as sibling relationships. This is a normative starting place for the domestic church as defined by the Church.
But there is more to the domestic church than spouses, parents and children who happen to live in the same household. The domestic church refers to a family who embraces Christ as Lord and Savior and whose family incorporates their belief fully into their family structure. The term dates back to the first century AD when another similar phrase – the “little church” – was used to describe a family in Christ. The foundational leaders in the early days of the Church understood the home to be fertile ground for discipleship, sanctification and holiness. As Christianity grew and developed and as time and distance increased from the early days of the Church, the image of the domestic church waned. Minimized for millennia, it was recaptured by the Second Vatican Council: “From wedlock of Christians there comes the family, in which new citizens of human society are born, who by the grace of the Holy Spirit received in baptism are made children of God, thus perpetuating the people of God through the centuries. The family is, so to speak, the domestic church” (Lumen Gentium #11).
I decided to call a Diocesan Synod inspired by Pope Francis, and his emphasis on synodality. I introduced the Diocesan Synod on August 4, 2020 with a Decree and a Directory for the upcoming Synod along with a Synod prayer. I asked Fr. Samuel Spiering to be the Moderator of the Synod and our Chancellor, Darren Eultgen to be the Synod Secretary. I also asked Fr. Rodrigo Mingollo and Thomas Dotterweich to serve on the preparatory commission. In September of 2020, each Pastor in the diocese was asked to meet with their Pastoral Councils and give input to the Synod preparatory document regarding the “Domestic Church”. In early 2021, after most parishes completed their input, members of the Synod were appointed or elected from many areas and groups in Eastern Montana, so that we were able to draw upon the insights of delegates from around the Diocese of Great Falls-Billings. The delegates were a diverse group of priests, deacons, women religious and laity from throughout the diocese. Each parish in the diocese was asked to pray the Synod Prayer at Sunday Mass for the success and fruitfulness of the Synod. Through dialogue with each other on the basic theme of the domestic church, they recommended a series of propositions for me to consider. They worked together to form a slate of propositions they judged would enhance family life in Eastern Montana in each Catholic household. There was an opening Mass at St. Ann’s Cathedral on Friday, September 10, 2022 followed by a luncheon at which the delegates were introduced to the process. The delegates then met on a vicariate level, and on October 15, 2022, they met for the first full session in Lewistown. The delegates developed numerous proposals that were later collated and synthesized over the following week. The second full session, held at St. Patrick’s Co-Cathedral on Friday, October 22, 2022, required the delegates to review the draft propositions and then vote on the draft proposals. A two thirds majority was required for a proposal to be accepted.
The delegates had spent a good deal of time discussing aspects of the theme of the domestic church before they offered their conclusions and recommendations to me. It was a healthy and productive process by which they provided their insights and guidance regarding their judgements as to how the diocese should address issues related to family life. Underlying the process was the universal call to holiness. The context in which many people readily discover the way to holiness comes within a family context. This presumes a context in which members of a family are open to the Holy Spirit working in their midst of the home. The delegates sought to determine, not only truth and continuity with Catholic teaching, but why this or that teaching happened to be so necessary and important. The charge to me was to provide a fruitful pastoral response to the grace of this process.
When Pope Saint John Paul II issued his Apostolic Letter Novo Millennio Iuente at the turn to the 21st century, he reasserted the universal call to holiness as a significant teaching of the Second Vatican Council. All too common in the history of the Church there has been a perception that true holiness has not been a general habit to be found among the laity. Strangely, it remains a challenge to elicit a response from many Catholics to their call to holiness, even though Scripture clearly affirms this call. As affirmed in the First Letter of Peter, “You are ‘a chosen race, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, a people of [God’s] own so that you may announce the praises’ of him who called you out of darkness into his wonderful light” (1 Peter 2:9). The First Letter of Peter is best understood as directed to all the baptized. Restricting the call to holiness only to some of the baptized in the Church is a rejection of Scripture and Church teaching. Sadly, in the minds of too many Catholics, this misconception remains strong today. God sent His Son to save all people, not just some people. Whenever a person responds to saving grace, that person embraces the way to holiness. The context in which a majority of Catholics can discover this call to holiness comes within the family setting, the domestic church. It simply calls for openness to the Holy Spirit.
With guidance provided by the delegates of the Diocesan Synod on The Domestic Church in Eastern Montana, I offer my reflections on the propositions recommended to me. I will be quick to add, I have not followed suggestions by the delegates exactly. Nor have I chosen to include each and every proposition in my reflection. In some cases, advice expressed in one section was duplicated from a previous section. Also, in the interest of providing a document that is not overly long, I have chosen to be concise in my reflections. For the benefit of those who desire to view all the propositions, they are available on the diocesan website – diocesegfb.org/2021-diocesan-synod-on-the-domestic-church.
The Trinity: One Family, Several Persons
As noted earlier and for the purposes of this pastoral letter, a family as a domestic church is a group of persons united by the bonds of marriage and blood. They constitute a single household in which members interact according to social position. They share faith in Jesus Christ as members of a family which is integral to their understanding as a domestic church. A domestic church involves a series of interrelationships between spouses, parents, children, siblings, and possibly grandparents. Within this context, they strive to grow and develop in their shared faith and above all strive to help each other to attain holiness.
The core understanding of a family, from the perspective of the Second Vatican Council and as codified in the Catechism of the Catholic Church is the “nuclear” family.
2204 “The Christian family constitutes a specific revelation and realization of ecclesial communion, and for this reason it can and should be called a domestic church.” It is a community of faith, hope, and charity; it assumes singular importance in the Church, as is evident in the New Testament.
2205 The Christian family is a communion of persons, a sign and image of the communion of the Father and the Son in the Holy Spirit. In the procreation and education of children it reflects the Father’s work of creation. It is called to partake of the prayer and sacrifice of Christ. Daily prayer and the reading of the Word of God strengthen it in charity. The Christian family has an evangelizing and missionary task.
2206 The relationships within the family bring an affinity of feelings, affections and interests, arising above all from the members’ respect for on another. The family is a privileged community called to achieve a “sharing of thought and common deliberation by the spouses as well as their eager cooperation as parents in the children’s upbringing.
There certainly are other contexts in which family is experienced and in which people of faith can discover holiness, but the core remains a father and mother with children who are open to the Holy Spirit within their family. The presumption of the Catholic Church is that a marriage is meant to be fully sacramental. There are, as noted, other contexts for family such as blended families that come as a result of the death of a former spouse and remarriage to another spouse with children. A marital break followed by remarriage to another person can lead to a blended family with new parents and stepsisters and brothers. Single parent families with children are not uncommon. Some married couples have not been able to bear children for any of a number of reasons. Some of these married couples have adopted children or have provided foster care. In cases in which a marriage may not be sacramental, the diocesan Marriage Tribunal can be of great assistance.
In his Apostolic Exhortation, Amoris Laetitia, Pope Francis wrote, “Faithful to Christ’s teaching, we look to the reality of family today in all its complexity with both its lights and shadows” (Amoris Laetitia, #32, italics mine). Realistically, there are many challenges that can frustrate a family’s ability to attain a family life that is both wholesome and holy. When faced with challenges, families would do well to reflect on the experience of the Holy Family of Jesus, Mary and Joseph. They too had challenges, but they also had each other and confidence in the presence of God in their midst.
Families in today’s society often move from place to place. It is common for both parents to work outside of the home. This may not always be a preference, but is a reality and often times necessary to meet family expenses. Childcare for the youngest children, for example, while indispensable, can be expensive. Other challenges within the family can lead to stress: an interfaith or interdenominational marriage; a family in which some members do not practice their faith or do so but infrequently; the commonality of divorce.
Exterior influences can positively or negatively impact the experience of family life. Attending to solid Catholic sources for inspiration and information are helpful, such as “Formed,” EWTN, Word on Fire and other similar Catholic media resources. “Formed” in particular is a resource that all parishioners are encouraged to utilize. It is an online program from the Augustine Institute that provides an incredible array of Catholic programming. Drawing from 60 Catholic organizations, it provides a wealth of information to help parishes, families and individuals to explore their faith and become more knowledgeable about it. It is user friendly and a wonderful way for families to learn and grow spiritually as a family. The Diocese of Great Falls-Billings recently enrolled each parish of Eastern Montana in “Formed” in order to help families and individuals to develop a greater awareness of the teachings of the Catholic faith.
Keeping up on current issues related to faith and morals is important given that a large segment of society consistently expresses information that is contrary to Catholic faith and morals. Catholic news organizations such as Catholic News Agency and Catholic News Service provide information in this regard. Being informed in faith requires a proactive approach. While many programs like “Formed” are excellent, care should be taken with regard to some online resources that are less than faithful to Catholic teaching. Lived experiences likewise provide inspiration and support through public expressions of the Catholic faith. A number of the parishes in the Diocese of Great Falls-Billings provide helpful catechetical opportunities: adult catechesis, young adult gatherings, prayer gatherings, etc. Sadly, as useful a tool as technology provides, technology is a two-edged sword that can be a source of isolation and a means of destruction to spiritual life rather than an aid. Pornography in particular is a modern scourge that has seriously harmed many a marriage and family. The gratuitous violence portrayed in many movies and TV shows can desensitize people to the harm caused by viewing such cruelty.
In response, it is incumbent for parishes to provide guidance and support to families, helping them to keep their faith in God always before them and as their first priority. Worship and prayer, both at Mass along with devotional activities, are central sources for receiving spiritual strength. Regular reception of the sacraments, in particular the Eucharist and Penance, provide the grace needed to remain strong, loving and wise in faith. Religious education and formation are vitally important for overcoming the negative influences regularly present to people, especially youth. Prioritization and a proactive approach are key. Families should not simply assume that because they happen to follow religious practices, even regularly, that all will be well spiritually within their family. When Jesus preached the Sermon on the Mount he said, “Not everyone who says to me, ‘Lord, Lord’ will enter the kingdom of heaven, but only the one who does the will of my Father in heaven” (Matthew 7:21). “Christianizing” the home is vital for faith development. Too often families miss opportunities to live faith in the home, thinking that it is solely at the parish church where faith is supposed to be expressed.
The Incarnation: One Family, both Natural and Supernatural
The Catholic church views matrimony, at its deepest expression as a sacrament, “a concrete something that when you bump into it, it puts you in contact with a divine reality” (What Happens At Mass, Abbot Jeremy Driscoll, p.3). Its foundation is baptism. For the sacrament of matrimony to take place, both the man and the woman must be free from existing prior bonds and have been baptized. Matrimony may take place solely between one man and one woman. It is a vocation from God, marked by the union of the couple who are open to the possibility of life, principally through the bearing and rearing of children. The love of the spouses for each other is meant to be a visible reflection of God’s unconditional love for us. Matrimony, as a sacrament, is vitally important to the Church. When a married couple fully understands their relationship as sacramental, they appreciate their relationship as a means to participate in God’s creative and redeeming love. Not only does each spouse become a minister of grace as they help their spouse to become holy, but as parents they become teachers and formators for their children in the way of Christian faith. The family as a whole – parents and children – witness to God’s love for all people.
All too often, married couples lack a full appreciation of the sacramental dimension of their relationship. Understood properly, theirs is a ministry of witnessing to God’s love for others as God has loved all others in Christ. A sacramental marriage is one by which spouses commit to being utterly faithful to each other, striving to bear life as a couple and committing themselves to remain permanently in their relationship with each other until death. Obviously, the bar is set high, but this is what a sacrament demands. It is an image that reflects the lofty image of Christ on the cross. Granted, not all married couples attain such a lofty understanding, but it is an expectation of the sacrament. It is a reason why regular maintenance, such as marriage retreats, Marriage Encounter and Retrovaille, should be a part of any ongoing marital relationship.
A particular aspect of the ministry of matrimony is parenting. A question asked of couples during their wedding is: “Are you prepared to accept children lovingly from God and to bring them up according to the law of Christ and his Church?” There are reasons why a couple might not be able to bear children, e.g., infertility and age, but the presumption is that children will very much be a part of the Sacrament of Matrimony. As a relationship that mirrors God’s love for us in Christ, matrimony is meant to reflect the total giving of Christ as imaged on the cross. This is why the Church teaches that all forms of contraception are contrary to the nature of the sacrament. Contraception is intended to exclude the possibility of children. Contraception implies that one or both spouses refuse to give themselves totally to the other. It many not seem so to a couple, but de facto, this is the reality. By contrast, a morally acceptable non-contraceptive method for spacing pregnancies is Natural Family Planning (NFP). NFP uses the natural cycles of a woman’s body to gage fertility. As a practice, it also involves both husband and wife. It is important to note that some methods of preventing conception such as an IUD, which are often viewed as contraceptive, are actually abortifacient.
When spouses do become parents, they assume the important role of teacher and formator. Their role, aside from helping their children to develop physically and emotionally, includes spiritual development. Parents have the primary role for introducing their children to Jesus Christ and guiding them in their faith development to become his disciples. A truly lifegiving marriage and family also looks beyond the immediate boundaries of their domestic church. It is meant to be a springboard that radiates holiness to others in society. To be lifegiving means more than bearing children. It also means fostering faith and holiness beyond the family. The members of the family become instruments of social justice and Christian charity, respecting the dignity of all life beginning with conception until natural death and respecting the created order so necessary to sustain human life. Care for creation is a responsibility of people of faith. While development and industry are necessary for the well-being of any society, members of a domestic church should work to assure that resources are sustainable and development environmentally sensitive.
In many ways, fully living a sacramental marriage and living the lifestyle of a domestic church may look strange to others in society, especially in a society that does not truly value those values espoused by the Catholic Church. The temptation to “fit in” with others in society who are not so concerned with Catholic teaching and practice can undermine the lifestyle of any family. Couples and family members must exert themselves to embrace a Catholic lifestyle as a response to the grace of baptism and matrimony. Only when members of a family embrace baptismal grace will they reflect a lifestyle that truly is Christian. St. Paul notes that the Christian family must have a greater vision than what this world provides. He writes in his Letter to the Philippians, “Our citizenship is in heaven, and from it we also await a Savior, the Lord Jesus Christ” (Philippians 3:20). Having concrete bonds of faith with other members of the Church provides a means to meet many of the challenges that entice people of faith simply to “fit in” and become unconcerned with conflicts to Christian moral convictions or to people in society who suffer from poverty and injustice. An active faith community in which interpersonal sharing of faith is present does much to overcome such challenges.
The Triple Duties of Baptism: Holiness, Knowledge, Authority
The role of a father and a mother in a family plays a vital role in the formation of their children. Direct involvement of both father and mother is an aspect of the vocation of married life and a means of grace working through human instrumentality. Parents are the first and hopefully the best teachers of their children in fostering faith in God and living as Catholics. Cooperating with the grace of the Sacrament of Matrimony, they “show their children,” as Pope Francis noted, “the maternal and paternal face of the Lord. Together they teach the value of reciprocity, of respect for differences and of being able to give and take” (Amoris Laetitia #172). Many parents will need the assistance of their parishes in the religious education of their children having neither the expertise to teach nor the availability to teach their children due to the demands of their work. However, the direct involvement and witness of parents in the Christian formation of their children is indispensable and should never be replaced or surrendered. Parents must witness to the values of Christian faith for their children by fully practicing and incorporating the values of the Church into the structures of family life. The witness of both parents is an indispensable element in faith formation and for living a sacramental life that cannot easily be replaced by even the most loving of guardians.
Involvement of both father and mother is a reflection of our creation by God. As recounted in the account of creation in Genesis, “Let us make man in our image, after our likeness. Let them have dominion…” (Genesis 1:26) and “God created man in his image, in the divine image he created him; male and female he created them” (Genesis 1:27). Being created in God’s image and likeness assumes that men and women will strive to reflect God’s holiness. They are given a mission by which they share in the same way for the care of creation and, by implication, the need to work toward a sustainable environment for themselves, their children and all others who share the earth.
Living as a loving husband and father is an expectation of the Sacraments of Baptism and Matrimony. As a husband, the man must have a deep respect for his wife, who is his full partner in the marriage relationship and is embodied with equal dignity. As a father, he must be present to his children, both physically and emotionally. There are too many examples of physically and emotionally absent fathers who neglect the important role they have of witnessing to healthy masculinity for his children. When a child looks to his/her earthly father, he/she should be able to see qualities of a divine Father. Involved fathers, who outwardly live their faith, impact the way in which their children view God as well as how they should expect to practice their faith as they mature.
Wives and mothers are just as essential for the well being of the marriage and her family. As with her husband, her unique role as wife and mother is imbued with baptismal grace as lived out within the Sacrament of Matrimony. While not all mothers bear children, it is a normal expectation of marriage. The Second Vatican Council in the pastoral constitution, Gaudium et Spes asserted, “Marriage and conjugal love are by their nature ordained toward the begetting and education of children” and “…from the moment of conception life must be guarded with the greatest care…” (Gaudium et spes, #51). As important as is a need for a masculine image to be present to children, so too is a maternal one. Mothers witness to an image of God who is tender, warm and loving. Mothers witness to the vibrant care God has for his people, as One who is always filled with mercy and compassion.
Priests too, especially pastors, have a role in modeling an image of God. From the perspective of a parish family, a priest images the fatherhood of God for the parish family. As a father is present and engaged in his domestic church, so too must a parish priest be present and engaged with his parish family. It has been said that, aside from administrative responsibilities, the ministry of a parish priest is about 90% “just showing up.” Obviously, the ministry of a parish priest involves more than simply showing up, however, being assimilated into the life of parish families is essential for effective pastoral ministry. If a parish priest is not present to the parishioners who have been entrusted to his pastoral care, for all practical purposes, he becomes an absent father. Priests have a responsibility to show the paternal side of God. Just as a father in a family has an important role for helping to foster Christian formation in his children, so too does a parish priest for his parishioners.
Together with parish families, the parish priest presides at the Eucharistic Table as he celebrates the Mass for the parish. The Mass, which primarily is a sacrifice, is also a holy family meal for parishioners, the members of Christ’s body. It is through joining fully in the celebration of the Eucharist as meal that a communicant participates fully in the sacrifice of Christ. Commonly, family members assume liturgical roles at Mass such as lector, Communion minister, altar server, musician, etc. A new directive from Pope Francis regarding liturgical ministries includes catechist, acolyte and lector as instituted ministries for both women and men. Mostly, families simply sit together in a pew in order to worship as a family. No matter what their specific functions are during the Mass, they are meant to be engaged and attentive to all that is happening during the Mass: listening attentively to the readings from the Scriptures as they are proclaimed; being fully, consciously and actively engaged as the Eucharistic Prayer is prayed; receiving Holy Communion as a profession of belief in the presence of Christ in the sacred species (a presence par excellence); recognizing those who gather as members of Christ’s body who make up the Church. In order to make the experience of worship most meaningful as a family, the family will structure time and opportunity, for both parents and children, to attend to religious formation and education in order to better understand the faith as handed down for millennia. Regular prayer activities within the family at home, such as daily rosary and family meals with prayer and sharing, do much to nurture and support faith. Sharing faith, in any of a numbers of ways, outside the family household, is important: Eucharistic adoration; the spiritual and corporal works of mercy; etc.
The sacraments of the Church are the means by which Christ becomes present in the lives of his followers. They are indispensable for the practice of the faith for any Catholic. Absence of a sacramental life essentially distances one from Christ. In addition to gathering for the Mass as a family regularly on Sundays and Holy Days, making a habit of going to the parish Church as a family to receive the Sacrament of Reconciliation does much to strengthen faith as well as witness to the mercy of God in Christ for each other.
The Four Marks: One, Holy, Catholic and Apostolic
The domestic church, i.e., the family, is integral to society. Healthy and holy families not only make for a heathy and holy Church, but also a society that is healthy while having an opportunity to witness to Christ through virtuous lives. As no one is an island unto him or herself, a family in Christ is integral to the vitality of the Church, being a part of the body of Christ. Families, as supported by their pastor, his staff and other members of the parish, should be able to flourish as families of faith.
This hardly means that health and holiness comes automatically to a family or that the actual family life is supposed to look like an image off a holy card. Grace works through cooperation with the presence of the Holy Spirit and holiness does not mean perfection in the way that most people think of perfection. Holiness means that the members of a family in Christ have dedicated themselves to their baptismal promises. They know they have been consecrated though baptism as children of God in a particular way. They may not always adhere totally to the values of faith in Christ and at times may fail miserably, but it is the vision for which they have set their lives. When they do sin and get off course, they regroup and seek the mercy of God, especially through the Sacrament of Penance (Reconciliation).
There are many aids available to help families attain holiness. There are also obstacles. Families need to incorporate the kind of structures of faith in their day to day living that will help them attain holiness. St. Thomas Aquinas noted in his Summa Theologiae that “…grace does not destroy nature but perfects it,” (ST I, I, 8 ad 2) which means that we must cooperate with the presence of grace in our lives for it to be effective and fruitful. The presence of the Holy Spirit is always and everywhere present and available to us. At the same time, in order to benefit from the presence of the Holy Spirit, we must be open and available for the Spirit to work through us. This is how a Catholic becomes ever more formed in faith. Some of these structures of faith in family living are best understood as disciplines (from which we receive the word “disciple”): praying the rosary as a family; gathering at the parish church for Eucharistic adoration; reading passages of Scripture together as a family and discussing the text; incorporating elements of the liturgical year into a household context, serving together at a soup kitchen (see appendix A). Some practical activities could be turning off the TV, computer and cell phones once a week for family night, discussing concerns at a nightly family supper, watching a good movie together and discussing its moral themes, etc. It should not be surprising to anyone that many such faith activities would be contrary to what many families find as normal, but such activities help a domestic church to embrace ways to build upon their shared faith in Christ.
Many significant obstacles to faith are present in society and can negatively affect life in Christ within a family. As mentioned earlier, various means of technology, as much of a blessing as these are in our modern world, are a two-edged sword. They can become quite addictive and end up controlling those who think they are using them for good purposes. The internet is a wonderful tool for communication, but can also be destructive, especially when used to introduce discord, falsehoods, violence and pornography. It is not always easy to determine which websites or online platforms reflect wholesome values or truth. Caution should always be included in use of the internet and other means of technology.
Being a domestic church is fundamentally catholic which means “according to the whole.” This is simply to affirm the general outlook of the Catholic church which is universal in scope. To paraphrase the Second Vatican Constitution on the Church, families “… are gathered together though the preaching of the Gospel of Christ, and the mystery of the Lord’s Supper” (Lumen Gentium #26). In other words, a unique individual family may be but a small element of the Church, but the Church is fully present within a family as the members recognize Christ’s presence among them.
St. Paul describes the Church as a human body, each member of the body having a practical role in the good working order of the body. He was addressing a specific community in Corinth when he wrote his analogy, but the passage can be viewed in a much wider perspective that goes far beyond the boundaries of first century Corinth. When viewed in this way, the vision of communion between members of the body of Christ is expansive. From a contemporary perspective, St. Paul’s vision includes all those who claim Christ as Lord and Savior and make up the body of Christ. The Catechism of the Catholic Church asserts, “The Church is Catholic because she has been sent out by Christ on a mission to the whole of the human race” (Catechism of the Catholic Church, #831). Pope Francis affirmed in his first Apostolic Letter: “All the baptized, whatever their position in the Church… are agents of evangelization” (Evangeli Gaudium, #120). Families should realize their role in witnessing to the faith, at home, at the parish, at work and school – wherever they happen to be. Most situations provide some opportunity to witness to faith in Christ, either through behavior or through speech.
The Catholic faith was founded by the Lord upon the Apostles. The Lord once called them as disciples but then sent them as apostles. A disciple is all about following; an apostle is all about being sent. As apostles, after they had experienced the risen Lord and were filled with the Holy Spirit, they went out in different directions to share their experience of the risen Lord and their faith in him. They and their successors spread their faith in the risen Christ and ever so slowly Christian communities grew, mostly as families. By the mid fourth century, Christianity had become the dominant religion in the known world of those who believed in Christ. There certainly have been ups and downs, starts and stops and twists and turns in how Christianity has been practiced and embraced by people throughout history, but there has been consistent growth among those who have come to believe.
There have been ample periods of great fervor and holiness since the founding of the Church on the Apostles, but also (sadly) too many periods of apathy and sinfulness. Many people in our own day have rejected faith in Christ or, at least, a structured and organized way of expressing faith. Some who once embraced the faith have now disaffiliated themselves from the Church. Certainly, the sexual abuse crisis in recent times has taken its toll, but so too has the increase of secularization. And there are many who simply have never been provided a good enough reason why they should consider (or continue) following Christ within the Catholic Church.
It points to the importance of those who do believe and try to practice their faith in Christ to do so in a way that attracts others. Pope Francs has affirmed numerous times that all the baptized have a responsibility to evangelize. Whichever vocation a Catholic may be called to follow – priesthood, diaconate, matrimony, religious life, consecrated lay state – it is essential that everyone live their vocation in a manner in which they witness to Christ.
In order to implement the vision of the delegates regarding the domestic church, I ask all pastors and parish staffs to seriously consider how they can best provide concrete support to the families who make up their respective parishes. Looking to the coming year and years thereafter, parish pastoral planning and budgeting should keep ministry to families as a priority. I pray that the efforts of the delegates for the Diocesan Synod on the Domestic Church in Eastern Montana will bear great fruit.
Jesus, Mary and Joseph, in you we contemplate the splendor of true love, to you we turn with trust.
Holy Family of Nazareth, grant that our families and households, the
domestic churches of Eastern Montana, may be places of communion and prayer, of love and mercy, authentic schools of the Gospel.
Holy Family of Nazareth, may our families and households never experience violence, rejection or division. May all who have been hurt or scandalized find ready comfort and healing.
Holy Family of Nazareth, may this Second Synod of our Diocese make us once more mindful of the sacredness and inviolability of the family, the domestic church, and its beauty in God’s plan.
Jesus, Mary and Joseph, graciously hear our prayer! Amen.
Given on April 17, 2022, the Solemnity of Easter
Michael W. Warfel
Bishop of Great Falls-Billings
Appendix A
Christianizing the domestic church: living the Church’s liturgical year in the home
A typical family who takes faith seriously, tends to focus most of their “Church” activities at the parish church: Sunday Mass, confession, weddings and funerals, confirmation and first communion, Christmas and Easter, etc. The family likely will have some expression of their Catholic faith in their home: a crucifix on the wall, an image of Christ and some of the saints, a statue of St. Francis. They will probably say a prayer before and after meals and even pray the rosary together as a family. This is all good, very good, but it is missing an opportunity to fully Christianize the home.
Faith in Christ is meant to be lived at all times, not just when going to the local parish church and special religious events outside the home. Families frequently miss opportunities to fully Christianize the home when it is quite possible to pattern activity in the home according to the Church’s liturgical cycle, beginning with Advent and culminating with the Feast of Christ the King. There are ample resources available online through Catholic websites and book stores to help families do just this. When the liturgical year is celebrated at home as well as in the parish, the mystery of faith shines ever more brightly in the domestic church.
There are no real rubrics just how a family would incorporate liturgical celebrations in the home, but with a bit of research and creativity, much can be accomplished. In addition to discovering a resource online, some creativity will be necessary. For example, a family could jointly make an Advent Wreath (rather than buy one) while explaining the significance of the wreath to children in the family. Members of the family can jointly ask God’s blessing on the Wreath using the prayer for blessing from a parish missalette. Such activities do not replace the Church’s official liturgy and worship, but such activities do help to prepare a family to more fully enter into the Church’s liturgical celebrations. As one author noted, the family goes from only “half-living” the Church’s liturgical year to “fully-living” the Church’s liturgical year. Below are a few suggested feasts for home liturgical celebrations:
- The Advent Wreath with daily prayer surrounding the wreath
- Saints of Advent: St. Nicholas, Immaculate Conception, Our Lady of Guadalupe
- The Christmas Tree and the following feasts of the Twelve Days of Christmas
- Epiphany
- St. Blasé and the blessing of throats
- St. Patrick’s Day
- St. Joseph
- Ash Wednesday and Lent
- Holy Week and Easter, Ascension and Pentecost
- Mary during the month of May
- Assumption
- All Saints and All Soul’s
These are suggestions, but with a little creativity and research, celebration of these events (and other ones of the family’s choosing such as baptism anniversaries) will certainly enhance faith in the domestic church. An excellent resource for such celebrations is the book The Year & Our Children by Mary Reed Newland.
Appendix B
Implementation of the proposals for the Diocesan Synod on the Domestic Church in Eastern Montana
Below is a rough example of what a parish pastoral plan could look like. It is important that each parish have a pastoral plan and a developed budget to meet the vision of the plan.
St. X Parish, of Nowhere, Montana Mission Statement: St. X Parish is a welcoming Catholic community centered in the Eucharist who is committed to caring for the spiritual and material needs of parish families.
Eucharist
Goal: Enhance celebration of the Liturgy:
Obj. 1: Review selection and formation of liturgical ministers
Obj. 2: Educate parishioners regarding the Eucharist
Obj. 3: Celebrate inspiring liturgies
Obj. 4: Involve families in celebration of liturgies
Goal: Strengthen family prayer
Obj. 1: Increase opportunities for Eucharistic Adoration
Obj. 2: Guide families to gather as small prayer groups
Obj. 3: Provide resources for family prayer in the home
Evangelization
Goal: Reach out to inactive and alienated Catholics
Obj. 1: Develop Home visitation ministry
Obj. 2: Form a parish evangelization team
Catechesis
Goal: Offer opportunities to learn more about Catholic faith
Obj. 1: Bible studies, “Formed”, OCIA, Faith sharing groups
Obj. 2: Provide resources for family religious education and formation
Goal: Strengthen marriages and family life
Obj. 1: Provide parish marriage enrichment retreats
Obj. 2: Encourage and support Marriage Encounter and Retrovaille
Obj. 3: Provide programs for parents on parenting
Obj. 4: Provide training on safe environment for children
Stewardship
Goal: Encourage service activities and respond to those who are in need
Obj. 1: Encourage involvement of families in outreach ministry
Obj. 2: Increase financial giving to support pastoral mission of the parish
Appendix C
A pastoral letter only serves a purpose if the thoughts expressed are implemented into a concrete plan of action. I urge all parish councils to read through the pastoral letter, reflect on it jointly as a council and determine how best and most effectively each respective parish may devise a parish pastoral plan to foster and support parish families, the domestic church. The pastor and pastoral council will take the lead in forming a plan, but other parishioners should be invited to participate in developing one. It is likely that many parishes already have a well developed parish pastoral plan. In this case, it should be reviewed in order to adjust, where needed, to provide greater support for families. Some helpful steps:
- Assess the make up of parish families/households: age, ethnicity, language, education, occupation, married, single, divorced, economic condition, etc.
- Modeling synodality, ask how sensitive and responsive the parish community is to the needs of families, especially those who may be alienated in any way.
- Identify existing parish programs for families, if any. If they exist, evaluate their effectiveness.
- Identify ways in which the pastor and parish staff may be more accessible to parish families. Determine how the parish invites all families to be involved in parish life if they currently are not.
- Develop a personal outreach to those who are currently uninvolved in the life of the parish.
- Keep the vision of family ministry in the forefront of parish planning and allow it to guide parish ministry.
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